In this church I use to go to, we’d do this thing when it was someone’s birthday. We’d ‘eulogize’ them. Kind of sounds morbid, but the point was nice. We would go around the room and have everyone share encouraging things about the birthday girl/boy.
Once, on one of my birthdays, someone shared, “It’s like telling a princess that, ‘she is pretty.'”
At that time I was single, no kids, no major responsibilities, living a great and fun filled life. It was full of whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it. So much joy. So much fun!
In this season of life that I’m in, lots of it I wanted, some I wouldn’t have guessed would happened if you told me. A lot good, some bad. I’ve grown so much in marriage, when I began the marriage journey I honestly thought, “I’m easy. This should be easy. Yeah, we’ll have rough times, but our love should get us through.” That’s last part being more true than I ever could imagine.
In my life while being married, I’ve struggled with things I never thought I would. The first year I fought hard against depression, well sometimes there was no fighting. Then there was the whole, “Surprise, you’re pregnant and this slimy, large alien is going to come out of the smallest whole in your bodyaaaa.” thing. Sure, I wanted to have kids. I wanted to be married longer with just us and on that ONE time we slip… BOOM! P O S I T I V E. I carried guilt for a long time, praying I would miscarry. I really struggled seeing God’s hand in the situation and was in denial for several months this was really happening. [Newlywed, my depression, living in a house we were renovating that was near a church community that we/they left on not such good terms with]
Those words, “Telling a princess she is pretty.” Have ran through my head so much. I want her, the princess back!
This year I decided to get me back. I turned thirty in December and with the new year, it seemed like good timing. In all of life’s changes I seemed to have lost myself. I was a wife and mom. No longer working out of the house and being a B.A.M.F but I was a stay-at-home-mom. You know, the life of all guts, no glory, and sometimes hell-ish until you child sleeps. My husband works and goes to school full-time. So, the child rearing is all mine most days.
Back to my goals.
I even made a cute picture of it for my lock screen to remind me.
Joy. That’s the one that’s running through my mind lately. A couple months ago I found this verse.
Durning that month I also felt Holy Spirit inviting me to trust Him more. I watched a message Havilah Cunnington sent out this week and got some revelation.
Trust is the foundation for peace, and peace produces JOY!
“You will keep those in ‘perfect peace’ whose mind is steadfast and because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26.3
Havilah spoke how “perfect peace” means, “shalom, shalom”. I’ve heard before that shalom is intentional peace. Not only peace but also harmony, wholeness, completeness, prosperity, welfare and tranquility.
Later in the day this post came in my Instagram feed.
My prayer. Lord! Help me! I receive Joy! Help my mind. Help me to chose to trust! I want to not worry anymore; to not stress when things don’t go the way I think they should. I want my peace and joy to not be seasonal. I receive and tap into your perfect and complete peace. Help me get to the point where I’m in so much peace I don’t need spa days!!